Answering “What Happened to Your Voice?”

If you have a voice disorder, you’ve probably been asked this question more times than you can count. Sometimes it comes from genuine curiosity or concern. Other times, it feels intrusive or insensitive. But regardless of the intention, it’s a question that many of us struggle to answer comfortably.

The truth is, there’s no single “right” way to respond. Your comfort level, the relationship you have with the person asking, and the setting all influence what feels appropriate. What matters most is that you feel empowered to respond in a way that feels authentic and comfortable for you.

Understanding the Question Behind the Question

Before we dive into specific response strategies, it’s helpful to understand what people might really be asking when they comment on your voice:

“Are you okay?” – They’re concerned about your well-being
“Is this temporary?” – They’re trying to understand if you’re recovering from something
“Can I help?” – They want to offer support but don’t know how
“What should I expect?” – They’re unsure how to interact with you going forward
“I’m curious” – They’ve never encountered a voice disorder before

Recognizing the intent behind the question can help you choose a response that addresses their actual concern while maintaining your boundaries.

Response Strategies by Setting

Quick Responses for Brief Interactions

When you’re at the grocery store, meeting someone new, or in situations where you don’t want to have a lengthy conversation:

Simple and direct:

“I have a voice condition, but I’m doing fine.”
“It’s a medical condition that affects how I speak.”
“I have a voice disorder, but thanks for asking.”

Light with redirection:

“It’s just how my voice sounds now. How are you doing?”
“Medical stuff, but I’m managing well. What’s new with you?”

Educational but brief:

“I have something called [condition name]. It’s not contagious, just affects my voice.”

Responses for People You Know

With friends, family members, coworkers, or others you interact with regularly:

Informative:

“I was diagnosed with [condition]. It’s neurological and affects my vocal cords. I’m getting treatment, and I’m learning to adapt.”
“It’s called [condition]. The nerves that control my voice don’t work the way they should, but I’m doing okay.”

With context:

“You know how I mentioned I was seeing doctors about my voice? It turns out I have [condition]. It’s not curable, but there are treatments that help.”

Setting boundaries:

“I have a voice disorder. I’m happy to talk about it briefly, but I prefer not to make it the focus of our conversation.”

Responses for Professional Settings

In work environments, you might need to provide more context about accommodations or capabilities:

Professional and informative:

“I have a neurological condition that affects my voice. It doesn’t impact my ability to do my job, but you might notice differences in how I sound.”
“I have a voice disorder. I may need to use email for some communications, and I appreciate patience during meetings.”

With accommodation requests:

“I have a medical condition affecting my voice. I’d like to discuss some accommodations that would help me participate fully in meetings.”

For Healthcare Providers

When dealing with medical professionals who aren’t familiar with your condition:

Clear and specific:

“I have [specific diagnosis] diagnosed by Dr. [Name] at [Institution]. Here’s information about my current treatment plan.”
“I have a chronic voice disorder. It’s important that you understand this isn’t something that will improve with rest or antibiotics.”

When You Don’t Feel Like Explaining

Sometimes, you simply don’t want to discuss your voice disorder. This is completely valid, and you have every right to decline to answer. Here are some ways to politely redirect:

“I prefer not to discuss it, but thank you for asking.”
“It’s personal, but I appreciate your concern.”
“I’d rather not get into it right now.”
“I’m here to [specific purpose], so let’s focus on that.”

Remember: You are never obligated to share personal medical information with anyone.

Handling Inappropriate Responses

Unfortunately, not everyone responds to voice disorders with understanding. You might encounter:

Unwanted advice:

“Have you tried tea with honey?”
“You should see my cousin’s doctor.”
“Maybe you’re just stressed.”

Insensitive comments:

“You sound funny.”
“Can you talk normally?”
“Are you drunk?”

Responses that work:

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m working with specialists.”
“I understand it might sound different to you. This is normal for me.”
“I’d prefer not to discuss treatments right now.”
“That’s not helpful, but thanks.”

For particularly insensitive comments, it’s okay to walk away or change the subject. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or education if they’re being rude.

Teaching Moments

Sometimes, you might choose to use questions about your voice as opportunities to educate others about voice disorders. This can help reduce stigma and increase understanding:

Educational approach:

“I have spasmodic dysphonia. It’s a neurological condition that affects about 50,000 people in the US. Most people haven’t heard of it, but it’s more common than you might think.”

Advocacy moment:

“I have a voice disorder. There are actually many different types of voice conditions, and they affect millions of people. It’s just not talked about very much.”

Awareness building:

“It’s called [condition]. I learned that voice disorders are actually quite common, but there’s not much awareness about them. I’m happy to share resources if you’re interested.”

Preparing Your Responses

It can be helpful to prepare a few different responses ahead of time, so you’re not caught off guard. Consider practicing:

Your 10-second response – for brief interactions
Your 30-second explanation – for people you know
Your professional summary – for work situations
Your polite decline – for when you don’t want to discuss it

Building Confidence

The more you practice responding to questions about your voice, the more confident you’ll become. Remember:

Your voice is just one part of who you are. You have so much more to offer the world.
Education takes time. Not everyone will understand immediately, and that’s okay.
You’re helping others. Every time you respond with confidence and dignity, you’re changing perceptions about voice disorders.
Your comfort matters. You get to decide how much or how little to share.

Tips for Friends and Family

If someone you care about has a voice disorder, here are better ways to approach the topic:

Instead of: “What happened to your voice?” Try: “How are you doing?” or “Is there anything I can do to support you?”

Instead of: “Have you tried [treatment]?” Try: “I’m here if you want to talk about it, but no pressure.”

Instead of: “You sound different.” Try: Just interact normally and be patient.

Final Thoughts

There’s no perfect way to handle questions about your voice disorder. What matters is finding approaches that feel authentic and comfortable for you. Some days you might feel like educating others; other days you might prefer to keep things private. Both are completely valid choices.

Remember that every time you respond to these questions with confidence and dignity, you’re not just advocating for yourself—you’re helping to create a more understanding world for everyone with voice disorders.

Your voice matters, regardless of how it sounds. And your story—however you choose to share it—has the power to change hearts and minds.

Have you developed effective strategies for answering questions about your voice disorder? We’d love to hear from you. Share your experiences in our Community Voices section.

Answering 'What Happened to Your Voice?'